When Less is Greater Than More

The first three months of each year are horrifically slow for me in my business. As an entertainer the opportunities to do shows at parties and events are just fewer and farther between events than at any other time of the year.

This creates a series of problems, mostly financially of course. It is why you will see, the 6 of you who follow me at all, that I am always involved in other activities. Of late I have been working on trying to build a new business helping other entertainers promote and sell their work on one of the sites where I try to sell my line of hypnotherapy recordings.

The trouble with being a struggling entertainer is finding things to do to earn money which are flexible. So, if I need extra money to pay a bill…or eat…I’d be happy to take any job doing anything. I referee sports, for example and beat the shit out of my aging body running up and down a basketball court for 5-12 games a week. 

Scheduling for a regular job is always an issue because if I get a late-booked show, I have to take it because it would pay more than any other job I could realistically get. Employers won’t stand for someone who says they can’t work because their other job came up on a busy Saturday. 

Consequently this means that, for me, I end up incurring a stack of debt and this year it’s particularly bad. The new business is taking time to develop and is only costing me money right now. That is very discouraging. Since I am not setting February on fire, hypnosis-show wise, I begin to wonder if I simply just don’t have what it takes to succeed the way that I would like to succeed. 

It’s very mentally challenging on a day-to-day basis. As someone who has fought a life-long battle with depression it's doubly challenging. The most difficult part is that it makes me think that I just flat-out suck. When I am not getting hired, when I face rejection, or if someone cancels something on me, I take that very personally even though I know, deep inside, that it’s really the economy, a bad time of year, or whatever other valid reason. 

What tends to make it worse is that I see completely unskilled, untalented, and stupid people not struggle at all. That just makes it worse for me. I then wonder if I am not seeing something that other people do…do I really suck THAT much? Do people just not like me? Do they think that I am crazy? Some combination of all of the above?

I wonder why people who are in business don’t write back to me when I am trying to give them my business. Then I shake my head and wonder WHY and HOW they are in business when they don’t respond to a potential customer.

I jump when my phone rings or if I get a note when someone wants some information from me.

It’s so baffling.

I see one of the more successful stage hypnotists out there running a business with over 100 other hypnotists in his agency operating his business claiming he is a doctor and it turns out he is a fake and HE STILL GETS WORK. I’ve seen highlights of that same clown’s show and its flat bad compared to mine.

And I just don’t get it.

But I then I recall a story from this past week. Now, I am just not a rap music fan to start so keep that in mind. But Kanye West sucks and sucks bad. There is nothing I have heard that even remotely could be said has any value. If there is one thing I am good at in life it’s recognizing talent. Many people are, I know; I’m not claiming any special skill there, really. Let’s face facts though….Kanye West blows.

So I wonder…how the hell does someone who sucks this bad have a career in the music industry? Shouldn’t he be driving for Uber, like I might have to starting next week? How the hell is that ass clown making a living?

Then I find out that he is 53 million dollars in debt and suddenly I realize that I just don’t suck that bad. The value of my suck is not negative 53 million dollars.

What a relief that is!

I can walk around much happier today knowing that I don’t have that much suck burden. Just the burden of knowing that my show is 5 million times better than a Kanye West show but for some reason I have a 2-month gap in my show schedule.

Yes, I will say straight up that I have more talent than that tool, Kanye West. I am even a better musician and singer than he is. Truth. Let’s put it this way…if a record company signed me to record an album this year…in ANY style including hip hop or suck suck (West’s style of “music”)…they, and I, would not end up 53 million dollars in debt. 

I have mentioned before that I believe that I am either legitimately insane and the only one who doesn’t realize it or I am living in the actual Twilight Zone. 

So the moral of this story is that, indeed, there are times when less is better than more. I have less debt than Kanye West, which is completely justified, and gives me a glimmer of hope that not EVERYTHING is totally backwards here in the Zone.

Done.