Swim Like a Woman, Man

The Olympic opening ceremonies were pretty much of a joke to me this past Friday night.
They started with a short movie for an introduction which was just poorly done.
That aside, part of this piece of crap's introduction had graphics with notable British historical figures such as Shakespeare, Charles Darwin, Jane Austin, and Isaac Newton. The last two figures mentioned were Paul McCartney and John Lennon from the Beatles.
While I am sure that there was plenty of more room available for British icons, the fact that the last two mentioned in their long history made their mark across the globe over 40 years ago says something very powerful.
What is that, you might ask? Well, its that not too much great has come from Great Britain in four decades where some remarkable strides in technology and the arts have been concerned. Because if there had been that thought certainly would have been fresh on someone's mind and then included in the video package.
To what then DID Danny Boyle, the creator of this mess, pay tribute? To Britain’s National Health Service, something that has crippled the country with massive debt; a Socialist/Communist idea that has failed everywhere it has tried to fulfill the promises that it made – to lower health costs and improve health care.

Our President must have just loved that tribute though, but this is not my political blog under an anonymous name so let’s just leave that there.

This show had no chance of being able to rival the one from Beijing and I seriously doubt that anyone thought it would. Boyle, apparently real comfortable with mediocrity and/or failure, even said something to the effect that he was relieved to know that there was no way he could top that so that took the pressure off of him while preparing this. Huh? It shouldn't surprise me though. He honors failure so he had no pressure to do anything successful...or even remotely good.

You had to know this was bad because the NBC hosts, unwitting propagandists (or perhaps not) had to read scripts describing what was taking place on the stadium floor. They had to because no one would have had a clue as to what the hell was happening there. The hosts, Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera, who are supposedly TV “journalists” just went along with reading whatever crap they were paid to read and didn’t offer one critical opinion during the show.
I can understand that to a point. I mean NBC paid a billion dollars for the rights to broadcast the Games and I would imagine that there was some clause in the agreements which mandated such kiss-assery. But it made me want to scream…and I did.

It was so bad that I eventually fell asleep before the lighting of the torch. I’m still not sure how that happened because I saw the torch enter the stadium and get passed around a few times.

The Torch

I was a bit disturbed about the part of the torch ceremony that I did manage to see while in the stadium. First, I think we just need to see one person running with the torch at a time. This crap with 10 people running in one group and passing it to each other within the group is far too politically correct for me. It makes me want to vomit. When we see relay races the whole team doesn’t run with it; one person at a time does it. I know there are no written rules about how it should be done, but maybe there should be some rules jotted down somewhere so we can avoid this pap.
Muhammad Ali was a sports icon in this country and around the world. But no longer can he be an icon if we continue to cart out his disturbing old shaky body any more. At some point this just becomes cruel to his legend and legacy to do this. I only felt sorry for him and I should have felt pride at that moment.

The best of the ceremony that wasn’t the parade of athletes (which IS the most important and best part of any of them) was a performance of Chariots of Fire by some orchestra that featured a skit centered on Rowan Atkinson, who is Mr. Bean. That ought to let you know how bad this whole thing was.



Mr. Bean even knew the ceremony was horrible



The Queen, herself, could have saved the whole thing by doing the actual parachuting into the stadium. But Doyle opted for a stunt double instead. At least they could have asked her to make her appearance in her booth wearing a helmet or the parachute on her back.
Daniel Craig is not James Bond, I should add. SEAN CONNERY should have played that part in that skit with the queen, not Craig.

What should have been done here was to have a ceremony that entertained with some of the most incredible, trail-blazing, iconic music that there has ever been which originated right there in England. I'm talking about The Beatles, The Who, The Rolling Stones, Led Zepplelin, Eric Clapton....need I say more? I could, for sure, and that approach would have literally rocked the world...again.

The parade of athletes is interesting to watch because of all of the costumes and outfits that the athletes from 204 countries wear in the parade. Of course, our athletes wore outfits MADE IN CHINA which was as insulting as anything any communist sympathizing clothing designer chosen to outfit our team could have done to those who are proud of what we do in our own country.

I learned that country of Tuvalu used to have the internet domain suffix of .TV (you know, like .com, .net, etc.) The country actually sold the rights to that suffix to a California businessman for 50 million dollars. I don’t know why that was noteworthy to me, but I jotted it down while I was watching so here it now appears.

The roster of American athletes this year includes 268 women and 261 men and that is the first year that there are more women than men.
Of course, as noted the last time I wrote, our men’s soccer program, after billions and billions of dollars wasted on an Olympic development program, didn’t qualify a team for inclusion this year. So that is one reason why.
There are plenty of athletes from America who participate in other countries though. I took notice of a Facebook post, for example, that George Mason University has four athletes competing in the Olympics but only one of them is competing for America.

I think this is important to note because I can see a scenario where more outstanding athletes end up competing for other countries so that they can reach their dreams of participating in the Olympics.
There are rules for how many athletes can compete on a team. (To be honest I would have to research which of these rules are IOC rules and which are USOC rules.) So we, for example, can only now send our top two swimmers in each event to the Games. But that does sometimes mean that we could have the top 3 or 4 swimmers in the world in a certain event and where that third person would normally be able to get a bronze medal they get nothing and don't even have a chance to compete. If I were that good, it might even make me consider a dual citizenship somewhere.
With women’s gymnastics, as we have found out this year, only two team members can advance to the all-around finals competition.
Even though the current world champion, Jordyn Wieber from the US, scored the third highest point total in the preliminary competition yesterday, she was third on the American team, so she cannot compete for ANY medal in the all-around. 21 other girls from other countries, who scored lower than her, will have that chance that she actually earned.
These are rules that HAVE to be changed. There, at the very least, needs to be THREE competitors for any event so that there is a chance to sweep a category. I would even go so far as to say FIVE, but I’m willing to reasonably compromise with something that only makes sense, which is to have three.
Some events only have one for each individual event such as boxing, wrestling and judo. There is no reason that we can’t send three each there either. Sure, it would take longer to contest the event but I don’t have any problem with that.

Jordyn Wieber

At this writing Michael Phelps has competed in two events and has one silver medal to show for it. That came in the 4x100 relay which we lost to France, which is just embarrassing. Yes, France was the team that the US nudged out at the last split second in 2008 so it wasn’t really an upset but it upset me nonetheless. What was disturbing about it though was that the swimmer who anchored the team in 2008 helped the 2012 team qualify for the finals (Jason Lezak) but wasn’t in the pool for the finals. Ryan Lochte, who said that “these games are mine,” blew a full-body length lead in the final 100-meter leg. Just to give you an idea to compare how bad it was, a girl from China who just won the 200-meter IM gold medal swam her freestyle, and final, leg in a faster time than Lochte did. So if Lochte swam better than a girl the US would have won gold.

Speaking of swimming women, Dana Vollmer won gold for the US in the pool.

Dana Vollmer

At this writing China is kicking our asses in gold medals 9-3. They also have two more total medals, 15-13 than we do. Italy is a surprise third place country in the medal count.

Our other gold medalist was Kim Rhode, a skeet shooter who has won medals in five straight Olympics now. I find it hard to believe that I am so negligent that I did not know her name. Rhode became the first-ever athlete to win individual medals in five straight Olympics. She won her first, a gold, at 17 years of age.

Kim Rhode



There are a lot of empty seats in these Games and now, apparently, hotel rooms can be found for $70 a night. It is so bad in some venues that military personnel have been given seats for free to make them look fuller.

That said, I was watching equestrian events this morning and heard that some 50,000 people were in attendance.

One thing about equestrian that I don’t like is that they call the riders “athletes” when all they do is yell at the horsies who do the real work.
The camera coverage at the equestrian venue is spectacular. I can not recall being able to see an entire cross-country portion of the equestrian events in any Olympic event before this year. Now the coverage is digital and I think most is in HD also.

The US won silver in Men’s Team Archery. Jake Kaminski, Brady Ellison and Jacob Wukie were the three teammates who came in just ahead of the team from South Korea, which has a blind dude on the team.
What’s more notable about that paragraph; that we barely beat a team with a blind dude on it or that we sent a Star Wars character to compete for us?

Wookie

Whenever I watch the Olympics I am reminded that I want to go to Sweden to live, or at least should have moved there when I was younger and still blond. I caught some of the women’s soccer team from Sweden and it was just a blond fest. I would have felt right at home there.

Soccer is ok...in Sweden

…except for their lack of real freedom there. I don’t know; it’s a toss up for me. Freedom, or lots of hot blond girls running around all over the place?

Done

Ban Soccer Now

The Olympic Games Opening Ceremony is tonight, 7:30 EDT. I’ll be there in front of the TV to see how London manages to follow up the Beijing ceremony of 2008. I imagine that’s going to be a difficult act to follow since Britain just can’t starve its citizens into performing such a huge precision event with the promise that IF it goes well they’ll be able to eat after its over.

The US Women’s soccer team opened with a 4-2 victory over France on Wednesday. They were actually behind 2-0 but roared back to the win. I think that’s an ominous beginning for the team that placed second in the recent women’s world cup to Japan. But, a win is a win and having the fire power to score 4 goals after trailing is certainly positive.

Soccer was not the only event to start before the opening ceremonies. A men’s archery competition was contested already this morning with a legally blind archer from S. Korea setting records in the ranking round. He also teamed with a countryman to break a world record in the team competition ranking round. The women are scheduled to begin their quest for archery gold before the ceremonies also.

Men’s soccer started yesterday as well. But I seemed to have missed something because I don’t see the US men’s team anywhere on the schedule. Did they not qualify for the Olympics this year? I see 16 teams listed and have gone through the schedule. Unless there is a glitch on the website we don’t have a team there to play what is supposed to be our most popular sport now, according to those in the soccer community who don’t know what a real sport is even to this day.

I've had enough of this sport here in America.

It appears that sport powerhouse countries such as Morroco, Senegal, United Arab Emirates and Gabon all qualified teams for entry. But not the US of A where we have spent billions of dollars on all sorts of programs designed specifically to develop Olympic teams.

Hopefully I have just missed something here and the site where I am getting my information is incorrect (nbcolympics.com.) It has a good shot at being wrong since it gets it political information wrong about half the time also, it seems.

Egypt, with all of its political turmoil in the last year managed to qualify their team.

Gabon? Seriously? Our team couldn’t out-qualify Gabon? We couldn’t beat a country with a name that sounds like a sound effect from an old Warner Brothers cartoon?

Nope…I just double checked. NO American team in Men’s Soccer. So what we ought to do now is just allow women to play the game and get our men and our boys back to playing real sports like Football, if that doesn’t get banned in the next few years, Baseball, Basketball, Hockey and even Tiddlywinks or Golf.

Let’s tear down half of the soccer nets around the country and replace them with Lacrosse goals, or Football uprights, or Ping Pong tables and let’s end that terrible experiment with the worst sport ever imported to this country for men.
It truly is a horrible sport to watch, for me anyway, because of the horrific lack of offense and one of the worst rules (offsides) in all of sport the way that it is written.

I say that male soccer players, who are usually smaller in stature, should all take up Lacrosse starting today. Here is a sport native to OUR country and it has what American’s actually like; scoring, strategy, physicality and it is flush with agility and skill. It is a superior sport BY FAR to “soccer” and it is OURS. Well, I know some of you will argue that we stole it from the Indians who originated it here on this soil, but Indians are now considered Americans anyway so it’s just the same. Ok…Native Americans…whatever.

Much to my dismay I got one of the semifinal entrants wrong in the last quarterfinal round on America’s Got Talent. While I ended up 15 for 16 the one I got wrong was Eric Dittelman, the “mind reader.”
This one annoyed me because of the three routines that he performed to get to the semifinal, I knew how to do each one, have done two of them in my own show AND I do them better.
His quarterfinal performance was smartly done but simple, from my point of view. Because I thought as much I figured surely he wasn’t good enough to move forward. It really kicks me in the ass and I am sure it does the same with a bunch of other mentalists as well. I have stayed away from trying to perform on that show because I think my mentalism routine needs more polish. Now, I figure that a bunch of these acts will show up on next year’s show. Heck, maybe even mine.

Anyway, I was 15 for 16 judging those quarterfinals and who would move on from the field of 48. That’s pretty decent.

My guilty pleasure of a summer TV show is ABC’s Bachelor Pad. Contestants who participated in both the Bachelor and the Bachelorette compete against each to try to win $250,000. It is absolutely pointless but it has hot girls on it (and I suppose the men are nice to watch for the women) and I do enjoy the strategizing that takes place. In that sense it is better than the Bachelor (I refuse to watch the Bachelorette to keep my “man” card secure in life) because the latter doesn’t have any strategy. It only has 24 desperate women trying to find “the real thing” on a national TV show, which makes it an awesome comedy show.

But now that the Olympics are on I’ll probably have to just catch up with that, and maybe even AGT, On Demand later. Because I am just a geek for the Olympics and am off now to go watch some archery!

One more...can't resist.

Done

Close Dog Days

America’s Got Talent fans were able to see one of their better nights of live talent last night, as predicted here last week.

Because it was such a tough lineup a few acts of the twelve that might have made it through in other weeks are going to have to rely on a wild-card berth.
I don’t know how many wild-card acts are selected but I think they are chosen in a couple of weeks. I think next week is the one where acts were submitted on the internet and selected to come in to perform live. That is where they found Jackie Evancho two years ago.

Three of the acts from last night had been pushed through immediately to this, the quarterfinal round. David “The Bullet” Smith did his human cannonball shot and got fired 40 yards through a set of football uprights. While that is pretty amazing, I really don’t think he’ll go through to the semifinal round unless chosen as a wild card.

William Close, who turns the theater into a giant stringed instrument, should go through easily. Howard Stern and Howie Mandel said that the contest was over after he performed. The act is truly amazing. When they were praising Close after the routine you could see his lip quivering with emotion and it was cool to see. I could tell that gratitude and happiness was flowing through him having been recognized and complimented for what has most likely been a very long road for him to reach this type of audience and shine the way that he did.

William Close and his "Earth Harp"

Closing out the show was the other act that had the automatic berth to the quarters and that routine was Olate Dogs. Six dogs were part of the act and one of them does back flips. Now, a solo dog act just won Britain’s Got Talent and there are six here with one of them doing back flips so this is one of the other favorites to go to the finals (with Close.)

Olate Dogs in Conga Line

All That, the clogging group, doesn’t have a shot in this group now. Talented for sure but this lineup of twelve was strong.

The weakest link was Ulysses, the TV show theme song singer. I actually like this guy and I can picture him having all sorts of future work with his roster of songs that he sings very well. But he did manage to get buzzed off the stage so he’ll be gone for sure.

Eric Dittelman, the mind reader, did get a standing ovation for coming up with a routine that used Howie’s “Deal or No Deal” theme. But, again, I was screaming at my TV because the routine was so easy that I was kicking myself in the ass yet again thinking that because what I do I think is so easy that I wouldn’t dare try to pull it off on National TV.
Because the judges love him though I can see him coming back as a wild card, if he doesn’t make it to the next round on America’s votes.

I think the two other routines that go through on votes are Joe Castillo, the artist who makes pictures with sand and tells a story with that art to music. It’s absolutely amazing, totally original, and should get a spot.

The other act I think that goes through is ten-year old mariachi singer Sebastian “El Charro” De Oro. Ok, sure, its mariachi, but with De Oro you have a super charming boy with incredible stage presence who has an amazing voice. His ability to emote in his singing is well beyond his years and while I think I am sticking my neck out a little saying he is one of the four, I’m sticking it out anyway since I’m 12 for 12 so far and if I get one or two wrong now its no big deal. If he isn’t voted in, he’ll get a wild card.

Unity in Motion is a young female dance/acrobatic act. I think they are pushed out because of the lineup this evening also but they do deserve a spot in the semifinal round with a wild card.

Eric & Olivia, the musical duo, is not going through although this girl is a potential commercial singing success. I think Eric, who plays guitar and does the arrangements, actually pulls her down.

Solo dancer Lindsey Norton would compete well against TURF in a dance off but unfortunately even though she is charming and cute its going to be tough for her to breakthrough to the next round on votes.

Horse, who has balls of steel…literally it seems, has perhaps one of the funniest acts you can see if you are into slapstick humor, which I am. His whole routine revolves around getting kicked in the stones. That’s right…right in the family jewels. It makes me cringe when I watch it but then I laugh hysterically. I think he’ll get more votes than one might think and could be a surprise semifinalist.

But I’m sticking with William Close, Olate Dogs, Sebastian “El Charro” De Oro, and Joe Castillo.

We’ll see how I do this week.


Olympic action actually starts today as soccer matches begin in London. I think that the US women’s team is in action around 1130. Opening ceremonies are Friday, though.
I think NBC is prepared to do a great job covering this event and, although I don’t know if or how much it will cost, Comcast (or Xfinity) is offering every event live online.
In the On Demand section at Comcast (I don’t know about your local cable provider) there are highlights from the 2008 Beijing Games on there now. I was going through a bunch of them last night which feature gold medal winning performances in a stack of sports. There are also some previews of American athletes and teams available. As an Olympic junkie I am going to have my monkey fed for the next couple of weeks watching all of this stuff.

In baseball the Washington Nationals are still in first place in the NL East. I can actually root for them even though they are in the process of sweeping the Mets again right now. Their manager, Davey Johnson, who managed the Mets to the 1986 World Series, can do no wrong in my eyes. So since they are also closer to me than NY is in miles I am ok with having them win.
Yes, the Phillies are closer to me than both of them, but I hate them. I usually even hate the Phillies that leave the team and play for other teams. That originally meant that I couldn’t ever root for the Nationals because of Jayson Werth, but when Werth got injured a couple of months ago and Phillie fans were ridiculing him, he swore a personal oath that he would make sure that the Phillies would never parade down Broad Street again. Because he did that, he is no longer one of the bad guys.

Done

Scum

Without reading the Louis Freeh report regarding the Penn State scandal I can’t report on the facts that were in front of him.
But the NCAA read the report and they slapped Penn State with a series of penalties this morning to include:

* A fine of $60 million on the University (equivalent to proceeds of one year) — An endowment will be established to be used around the nation to serve victims of child abuse

* Penn State Football will be banned from bowl games and post season play for 4 years

* Initial scholarship reduced from 25 to 15 per year for four years

* Entering and returning athletes are able to transfer and immediately complete

* NCAA to vacate all wins of the football team from 1998 to 2011 and record will reflect change

* Football program on 5-year probationary period

* NCAA reserve right to initiate an investigation and impose sanctions on individuals

The NCAA said other corrective actions will be put into place to ensure the changes occur so there are even more problems coming.

The fine of $60 million, I think, is small, but it goes to the NCAA so with that in mind it’s appropriate. Besides, Penn State is subject to a whole stack of civil lawsuits that will rock their bank accounts and the residents of the state as well.

So here is the lesson – Football just isn’t that important. Need anyone say more?

And I will say this…ANYONE and EVERYONE who was involved in the scandal and/or cover-up of the scandal is/was a scumbag.

Batman isn’t that important either, ok? People really need to pull their heads out of their asses and stop living in fantasy land all day long.

We have all heard about the mass shooting in Aurora, CO a few days ago now perpetrated by some freak who was obsessed by Batman.

I’d hate to suggest that people who walk around at any time of the year besides Halloween in costume should be placed on a watch list but…ok, forget that…I DO suggest that now.

I already hate going to the movies because of the use of cellphones by people who think that they are so important that they need to text back and forth with other people during the movie. I hate all of the talking and extra noise as well. But now I have to think in the back of my mind that a copy-cat freak possibly wearing a Penguin costume is going to jump out and start blowing people away with a machine gun disguised as a walking cane.

This is why I bought an HD projector and built a mini-theater in my basement. I just need a popcorn machine down there and I am all set.

What made me sick in the aftermath was the talk about “gun control” again. Let’s be perfectly clear here. If some of the movie-goers were packing heat this scumbag doesn’t kill and injure as many people as he did.
Because, and let’s face facts now, he got all of his weaponry despite efforts at control.
But law-abiding citizens don’t carry their guns (if they are legal owners) into places, like movie theaters, where they say that no guns are allowed. So the only people who then bring in their guns to places like that are those with criminal intent in mind. Law and rule abiding citizens are at a disadvantage at all times.
Ironically, the same people who are pro gun control are probably the same people who cry about having a “level playing field” or cry about “spreading the wealth around” in other areas. Well, morons, then let the playing field be level and allow us to take full advantage of our 2^nd amendment rights and allow us the CHANCE to protect ourselves AT ALL TIMES.

James Holmes = Scum

The London Olympics are fraught with all sorts of difficulties so far. Cold and rainy weather is expected, strikes by taxi drivers, border guards and others are expected, and terrorist threats have already been received.
But the athletes have access to 150,000 free condoms so I guess it won’t be all that bad for them!
London better not allow scumbags to mess up the Olympics.

They start Friday. I pray that those two weeks will restore some of my faith.

Done

Yer Outta Here!

Well, AGT fans, I nailed the four acts moving into the semifinal round once again making me 12 for 12 in the first 3 quarterfinal rounds.
This next round has the toughest competition including the three acts that didn’t have to perform a second time in the Las Vegas rounds because they were automatically placed into the quarterfinals. They include the human cannonball dude, the dog act and the dude who made the theater into a musical instrument.

One of things that I do like about watching this show at this point of the season is to see the little bios that are produced for each of the acts. Often they talk about what the performer does for a living while they are performing and trying to make their routine self-sustaining.
When the Olympics begin in less than two weeks we will see far too many of these types of bios and I really just want to watch the athletes compete. It just seems as if there are more biographies than actual competitions and they end up annoying me more than making me empathize with the athlete.

But since I am primarily an entertainer I can empathize with the people who try to make it on these shows.

I have been self employed since 1995 with my primary business being sports entertainment and management. Producing sports videos had been the main thrust of what I did and running sporting events. But over the past few years everyone has access to cheap, and good, video equipment and editing software so that business is basically non-existent these days.
This year I was screwed in two major business arrangements (major for me, anyway) that made it impossible to run any of my sporting events.
Since my entertainment career doesn’t cover everything that I need to have covered the beating that I took because of those business deals and the shitty economy made it necessary to take extra work where I could find it.

I teach hypnosis and also do hypnotherapy but it just seems as if everyone I run into has tightened their budgets so even that angle wasn’t working.

I have never shied away from doing anything and because of the described situation I decided to take on two more part-time jobs. I figured that between everything I could make up at least a little bit of what I lost.

The first job that I took was working as a dealer at a casino near where I live. The other was as a softball umpire. Umpiring was more up my alley since I’ve been involved in sports in one way or the other all of my life but the casino position seemed like one that could perhaps have opportunities for advancement and be a good back-up spot in case everything else tanked.

I can tell you that while I sort of liked the technical part of dealing table games dealing with these people was the worst thing I ever had to do in my life. Dealing with drunken degenerate scumbag gamblers is just awful. While there are plenty of decent and fun people who go to casinos to have fun and perhaps win some money from time to time, the casino where I worked was near Philadelphia and it was filled with dirt bags whose asses had to be kissed non stop.

I don’t mind being nice to customers. I’m self employed so every deal I make is with a customer and I’m nice to all of those with whom I do business. But that said I don’t do business with everyone. If I sense that I am going to have a tough time with someone or a situation I can pass on the job. There is no passing by some scumbag who sits at your table and starts calling you names because he just lost his car payment on red 18 at the roulette table.

Table games dealers have to stand there and take that shit from people. Once in a while it’s easy to understand that people are angry because they lost their money and it can be blown off. But occasionally they just get personal and blame all of their misery on the dealer and I’m simply not someone who takes very kindly to that type of talk.

Right away when that started to happen I realized how bizarre my working life was. One day I could do a show in front of a few hundred people and get a standing ovation. Then the next day at 2 o’clock in the morning I could stand at the roulette table and have some drunken piece of shit calling me names.

Last week, some worthless loser finally pushed me over the edge. He was trying to get me to bend the rules at my table and when I told him to stop he went on a rant that attracted the security department’s attention. Now, I’m no diplomat at all and neither were the idiot pit bosses on hand at that point who tried to intervene. While I didn’t say a word to this loser, my facial expressions (such as winking at him, blowing him a kiss and things like that) provoked him to the point where the casino said they no longer needed me.

The next day I felt a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I truly hated that place. No, I shouldn’t say that I hated that place; I hated their “clients” and how we were supposed to treat them despite how they were treating us.

Unfortunately the casino job kept me away from doing as much umpiring as I could have especially during weeknights. But with that job out of the way I’ve been able to do more umpiring. I’ll even start learning a new sport to referee next week – volleyball. Then it’s back to the drawing board with the sports tournament for next year and hopefully my performance schedule will pick up again.

The umpiring is pretty easy and its fun. There is some running around to do and it’s been hot lately but it pays the same as the casino even if there aren’t as many hours available.

I know what you might be thinking when reading about umpiring; that players yell at the umpires and get up in their faces and spit and kick dirt at you.
Well, that might be true, but at the casino you just had to stand there and take it. As an umpire I can say something back in that situation and usually it’s “Yer Outta Here!”

And now so am I.

Light My Wire

This week’s America’s Got Talent lineup of twelve quarterfinal acts was the weakest of the three that have aired so far.

Three acts that probably should have been able to become of the top 4 to advance had difficulties with their routines.

This makes it a little tougher to predict which of the twelve will advance but let’s take this shot anyway.
The surefire bet is Lightwire Theater. They were the anchor act last night and while this act isn’t better than one with a similar concept last year they were still clearly the best of the evening.

Lightwire Theater in Action

As much as I don’t like dance acts, because this lineup was weak, or struggled, I think the young Latin dance troupe The Untouchables will advance.
I think that comedian Jacob Williams will move forward despite a night where he wasn’t as funny as he had been in his prior two performances.
Finally I think that the All Wheel Sports act is the other that deserves to move on even though it’s sort of tough to judge what they do watching on TV. They do bicycle tricks, trampoline tricks and other sorts of acrobatics all at the same time.

One of the acts that I think blew it was escape artist Spencer Horsman. It wasn’t that his escape wasn’t great but rather it was screened and it was hard to tell what was happening as he was escaping from a metal straight jacket from inside a locked bank bag hanging over a bed of spikes. But when he went to escape a screen was dropped in front of him and we could only see a shadow. His underwater escape in a clear glass case was much better since we could watch him and his escape from a straightjacket hanging upside down and done before a giant clamp sprang shut on him was better also.
If people remember those previous acts I think he could sneak in front of the dance group or All Wheel Sports.

Cristin Sandu does a balancing act that is rather dangerous. Prior to his act last night he stated that either he would succeed or get taken away in an ambulance.
Neither happened, unfortunately for him, and he merely fell while getting his balance on top of a stack of assorted shapes placed on top of each other. Had he managed to stay on top and the fire that was going to be lit was ignited, I think he sailed through to the final.

Juggling is a very difficult thing to do. Its tough enough to juggle three balls let alone juggle three knives or anything that is on fire. Mike Price, Rockstar Juggler, juggled four knives on a unicycle and five flaming bowling pins. In between those two successfully completed catches, he had a drop. Sadly that will keep him out of the final.
But I know from experience that jugglers don’t really excite a crowd.
Last year at a show a juggler performed prior to me. He wasn’t just a juggler though; he also escaped from a straightjacket while riding a unicycle. This guy was great. He juggled as many as SEVEN balls at once and, from what I have learned, is actually only one of about 50 people who can do it for an extended period of time. (The world record is 11 minutes or so.)
I was amazed by this act that he was performing in front of this rather large crowd. I was going nuts. I was clapping, cheering, jumping up and down. Then I was sweating because this guy was opening up for me and I was doing my hypnosis show.
On this particular night in front of this particular crowd…and I say this because I think in front of many other crowds this wouldn’t have happened, who knows…they just were not enthused by his show. My show actually went over much better and I got a standing ovation from the crowd where I was probably one of the few who stood for this guy’s show.
So once the rockstar juggler had a drop I figured he was done even though his skill absolutely amazes me.

Singers do get a lot of attention on this show and there were two solo acts last night but both fell real short. One was a 15-year old boy named Jake Wesley Rogers who tried to twist a Brittney Spears song into his own and pretty much failed. The other was a drag queen names All Beef Patty who did that song called “Lets Hear it for the Boys,” which was stereotypically cabaret and just bad. Both are good singers but blew it.

The band Wordspit and the Illest were awful. Howard Stern loved them and the fact that they did an original song but it was awful. There is a rapper and a regular singer in the group of ten. I dislike hip hop so I would default to the regular singer to try to like what else was left but he sucked also.

The solo dancer who calls himself “Elusive” was decent but I don’t think he had enough to push through and he isn’t as good as TURF, who advanced previously. Surely he is more athletic than TURF and incorporated that athleticism into his dance but I didn’t go “whoa” like I did when TURF performed. He’ll clearly have a chance to become part of a group and do well in that scenario.

So far I am 8 for 8. I’m not as confident here as in the past two weeks about getting all four correct. But I would doubt seriously that I would fail to get any of the four correct at all.

So I’m

Done.

Correct Again

So far I am 8 for 8 in picking the winners of the quarterfinals on America’s Got Talent. It seems as if my real talent is spotting talent which is something that is totally useless unless I get discovered by a team or a show that needs someone to judge talent.
But unless I am a big named star I couldn’t get one of those jobs.
There is at least one spot open on American Idol as Steven Tyler has left the show after two years to pursue his music career again. Jennifer Lopez may even leave, it is rumored.
So now we have to hear about all sorts of names of possible replacements and one of the names is Mariah Carey.
My question about that would be to figure out why does a professional singer need to be a judge? Do the judges actually pull in viewers? I don’t watch these shows for the judges. If anything they can ruin it. The dancing show, which name escapes me, has some bizarre woman on there who screams like a jungle witch doctor and it makes it impossible to watch.
I tried to watch Dancing with the Stars a couple of times and there is some poofy judge on there who makes a total ass out of himself every time he gets excited about what he has seen and I can’t watch that either.

So I officially put out there that I am available to be a judge on American Idol and I will do the job, and do it very well, for one quarter of what Steven Tyler did it.

Big Brother started last night and I wasn’t able to watch so I’ll get to that tonight at some point. I applied for this season’s show so I am curious to see the personalities that were blended together for this year. As far as a “reality” game show is concerned this one is second best to Survivor, to which I have also applied as previously mentioned.

I am currently watching every episode of Weeds on Showtime. I think it’s in its 7^th season now and I am midway through the 5^th. It’s about a California suburban widow who sells pot for a living starting Mary-Louise Parker. I think that I love her now but that’s probably because I have spent more time watching her than any other real woman in quite some time.

I’m not sure it’s the best show that I have ever seen, but it has continued to keep my interest for this long so it has something going for it.
The music that they select to accompany this show is perhaps the worst that I have ever heard though.
But what disturbs me about the show is the fact that it has me thinking about what I would do to make ends meet. More often than not as a D-list entertainer I am not making ends meet. So I wonder if I would actually turn to a life of crime to do so.
However it does seem as if I even run through a yellow light I get pulled over by the police so I just wouldn’t make a good criminal.

Criminals do live rather well though. I mean, throw out the fact that there are all sorts of risks involved…like getting caught and shot at all that kind of good stuff… but besides that there seem to be some nice benefits.

Mary-Louise Parker

In less than two weeks the Olympics will start in London. There are apparently all sorts of problems from security issues to weather to venues not being ready. But I am sure that everything will happen on time and memorable moments will happen just as they do in every other Olympiad. I just hope that the Brits ward off any real security problems there. If there is any event that attracts terrorists to it, it’s this event. Just recall Munich in 1972 as an example.

That’s it. I really just wanted to brag about my correct picks from last week’s AGT.

Done.

Quickly Moving On

I just got done watching America’s Got Talent quarterfinal round number 2 on DVR and thought I would jot a few notes before the live voting show is on at 9 EDT.

Twelve acts performed last night from all sorts of genres again. I think its easy to say that 6 of them don’t have a shot.
The six that I think are the top vote getters with just four advancing are, in this order, TURF (the solo street dancer,) Donovan & Rebecca (the acrobatic duo,) Tom Cotter (the comedian,) and Tim Hockenberry (the singer.)

The other two acts with a shot to squeeze in the top four are Hawley Magic, and Ben Blaque (the crossbow shooter.)
The magic act was pretty impressive but a couple of the judge’s comments about presentation had merit and an audience can get swayed by those types of comments. The same thing could be said about Hockenberry. Howard Stern believes he is the front runner for the title, but thought he took a step backwards last night. That does open up some space for the 5^th and 6^th acts to leap frog over him.

I pull for Hockenberry who is just a year younger than I am and is also a recovering person. Both of us took the wrong paths earlier in life, got back on the right path and pushed forward through life trying to make our marks. As I mentioned in my last post I can get caught up emotionally with some of these acts as I empathize as a struggling entertainer and watch people succeed after getting a chance to make a huge breakthrough.

I will say, however, that Hockeyberry does have a bit of success if one takes a moment to search. He has recorded three albums with a 4^th coming and has been on tour with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra and current with the Mickey Hart Band (from the Grateful Dead.) But this show makes him a national name and proves just how powerful we all know the media is.

This show can be reality TV at its best at times and it is also why I like TURF and Tom Cotter as individual acts. Both are great (Cotter in his 40’s while TURF is in his early 20’s) and both have to work in awful places to try to earn money and improve their routines. TURF literally performs in the streets and Cotter as a comedian has to work all sorts of small, smoky, crowded rooms with drunken idiots heckling him. Its great to see them shine on this show and I do believe my picks are pretty solid.

That’s all folks.

Done.

Going for Glory

It’s show day today, July 7, 2012, and I’m scheduled to do a show in Dover, DE, about an hour south of my home.
The temperature is supposed to top out at about 102 today in Dover and the show is outside.
But the show must go on! I doubt that the success will be that great today but I did a show at this same party last year and it was hot then, so I was invited back to do another and hopefully it will all work out.
There will be some tents under which the volunteers can sit during the show. That might actually entice more volunteers from the crowd most of which will be sitting in the sun to watch.
If it does get to 102 it will tie the highest temperature in which I have performed. A couple of summers ago I did a corporate party in a field near mid-day in South Carolina WITHOUT a tent. That was perhaps the most torturous show that I have done even though it was still a great one.

Such is the life of a D-list entertainer. We work when we can and where we can and hopefully…someday…get a big break somewhere.

This is one reason why so many people audition to get on shows like American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, and America’s Got Talent. Tens of thousands of entertainers of all kinds make attempts to stand in front of judges who have the power to determine their fates.
I am a fan of American Idol and America’s Got Talent, the latter of which is now in its live show Quarterfinals. Gone this year is judge Piers Morgan, who was just a douchebag the entire time he was on the show, in favor of radio star Howard Stern.
Stern’s addition was a good one for the show, in my opinion, because he does bring raw honesty and a good eye for talent. Even though he may sometimes be harsh he just isn’t as much of a total tool as Morgan was.

This year’s quarterfinals features a mentalist, Eric Dittleman.
I also perform a mentalism routine as well as my hypnosis show. My mentalism routine is rather unique and always gets rave reviews from my hosts. So it was with particular intrigue that I watch this guy.
So what ends up irking me are the two routines that I have seen him do before. Both went over very well with the judges, obviously, since they moved him forward twice. But the routines he did were so basic that I don’t even do them in mine because I think they are cheesy.
My mentalism show plays better to more intimate and smarter crowds though. I would have to develop something that would be more visible and playable to a larger live audience. The TV audience would be fine since they do close up shots, but there has to be an affect on the crowd watching in the theatre.
But now since this guy has made it on the show I can imagine that many others in the same genre will try to get there with their routines also.
After this dude did his routine a friend of mine texted me to ask me how he did what he did. She then sent me a couple of her thoughts as to how he pulled off his stunts. I didn’t tell her how he did them but she did get it right in one of the two methods that she mentioned. That, to me, tells me that he will have a hard time convincing many others as time passes.
But, still, he has indeed gotten his break. How big of a break it will be, is yet to be seen, but the exposure is worth its weight in gold for sure.

2012 America's Got Talent Promo Picture

This might be one of the years where a singer doesn’t win it all. There is perhaps one singer left who can go deep and he is 49-year old, Joe Cocker-sounding Tim Hockenberry with a good personal story.
But is he a million-dollar Las Vegas act (like my hypnosis show someday?) Who knows how America will vote? There is a dog act (Olate Dogs) that is absolutely spectacular, a guy who made an instrument of the audition theater (William Close,) a couple of artists who incorporate music into their routines (Joe Castillo and David Garibaldi and his CMYK’s,) and perhaps even one solo dancer (Turf) that I believe will reach the finals this  year.

I’m tired of dance groups making it through on this show though. Yes, I know they all work hard, but unless they are incorporating a bunch of acrobatic moves in their routine I don’t really like them. Just my personal preference; I’m sure they would hate my hypnosis show…unless they were in it and I was turning them into dancing monkeys.

But all of this has inspired a whole new idea which if the partner I picked to help with the production and I can pull off, could very well make a move to stand on that long line ourselves to try to stand in front of those same judges. If we can pull off what I hope you’ll know before then. But until, or unless, we can figure out everything that will be last that I mention of that. So that means that for now, I’m

Done.

Faster, Higher, Stronger

There is a temporary change in the name of this blog to Hypnolympics until the games of the XXX Olympiad in London are through on August 12^th.

And, no, the XXX stands for 30^th you freaks! Those are Roman numerals for those who have forgotten, or never learned them.

I am so much of a geek for the Olympics that back in 2000 I started my own amateur sports festival here in Delaware called the Diamond State Games. This one venture by itself is why I will never be able to retire from working in my life because of all of the money that I lost over its 9 year run. Sadly, I live in the state of Delaware where you can barely motivate a hungry person to eat let alone try to get them excited about anything.

There is a much longer story about that for another time but even though I have had many problems with that project and lost so much money I still am looking to keep pushing on running them again. That’s despite the fact that enough places in the state aren’t available for use at this time of the year. Again, that’s a longer story.

From what I can dig up so far Delaware has four Olympians headed to London. We actually have someone on the men’s swim team and while I have been alive I believe he is our state’s second to make an Olympic swim team. His name is Andrew Gemmell who attended the Charter School of Wilmington and he placed first in the 1500-meter freestyle qualifier.

Our area is a hotbed for Field Hockey and Delaware looks to have three women on its team and two from the same high school. Maren Ford and Carrie Lingo are from Lewes, DE and attended Cape Henlopen HS. Katelyn Falgowski actually lives across the line in PA but attended St. Marks HS around the corner from my house. Ford and Falgowski are in my sports video library from my sports videography business and old TV show called Delaware Sports. So its very cool to see people who have crossed my path in life achieve this kind of success.

But there is one very prominent name that can’t be found on any Olympic roster this year and I think it’s a damn shame. Elena DelleDonne, the nations leading scorer from women’s basketball is not on the US basketball roster. Here is a woman now who has been on national championship teams her whole life, was recently on the US team that won a gold medal in China last year, and actually brought the University of Delaware basketball team into the second round of the NCAA playoffs basically by herself, and she is nowhere to be found.
Ah, but could there be a specific reason why? Could it possibly be that the head coach of UCOnn, Geno Auriemma, is the head coach of the team? Could it possibly be that because Elena originally signed with UConn and then decided to come back home to Delaware that she didn’t make the roster?
I don’t even know for sure if she tried out for the team or not. So I could just be all pissy for absolutely no reason. But she belongs on that team.
To be fair I don’t see Brittney Griner, the 6’8” center from the National Champion Baylor Bears on there either, but she isn’t from Delaware so I don’t care as much.

DelleDonne is still young, however, so 2016 is going to be her prime year. But she brings so much more to the table than her amazing ability to take over a game. I figured that for sure she would be on this roster.

The swimming accomplishment of Gemmell is perhaps the biggest one here, though. Only TWO spots for each individual race are up for grabs. I know that there was some decision some time in the 80’s I believe that cut the number of swimmers that we can bring to a swimming event. That decision is horrible of course given our tremendous success in that event over the history of the Olympics. Our third place finishers are usually better than most country’s top qualifiers so some of them get absolutely robbed of a chance to be an Olympian.
But think about how difficult it is then to make one of these teams. There are hundredths of seconds that can separate first from fourth place in these races, particularly the shorter ones. Fourth place in the Olympics means that you go home with just your memories. For the US Trials, 3^rd place means you don’t even get the chance to make those memories nor have your dreams come true.
So much can happen from the time that someone knows that they are going to compete for a spot until the time the actual race takes place. A sudden cold or sickness, perhaps eating something bad that weakens you, a little slip off the starting block, etc., and you are out.
For younger women who are more likely to peak at these younger ages for swimming, a growth spurt can alter everything that an athlete has to do to maintain the necessary pace to win.
So many athletes yearn to become Olympians and yet even as gifted with athletic prowess as one might have there still is a certain amount of luck one has to have and a certain amount of political luck as well.

I am a fan of the TV show Big Brother and just saw the cast revealed for this upcoming season of the show. I sent in an audition tape to get on the show but naturally since I am writing this I wasn’t considered.
There are a couple of hot girls on there which really makes it rougher to not get the good news. But it looks like a couple of hot dudes on there too so I would have only been able to live vicariously through those guys lives that they would have in the BB house had I been able to go.

I did also submit an audition tape to the TV show Survivor this year. I have threatened to do it for years but finally did it this year. I can’t stand the heat, hate bugs, hate rodents and love modern conveniences which is why I never submitted a tape for all of these years. But I’m not getting any younger and have a desire to do something extreme like this so I figured that I would let the producers know that if they wanted to see a grown man cry in the wilderness like a little lost girl, they should pick me.
I have been tempted to start a Facebook page that is titled, “Pick Marshal Manlove for Survivor!” to try to get some publicity or support for the effort. But I wouldn’t want to risk the possibility that only 4 people supported the cause and just bury my chances instead.

After all, it is difficult to get Delawareans excited about anything, as I already sadly know.

Done.