What's That Stench?

There are two things that are bothering me right at the moment so its time to write something here. Ok, well, there are three.

I’ll start with the most important one and that was the Bachelor finale in which my pick didn’t win for the first time in the three years that I have picked winners and final fours.
So my pick, Lindsay Yenter, finished second. But that isn’t really what is bothering me. What bothers me is that the name of the winner was leaked around the time that the show started.
It seems as if there is some dude who has contacts at ABC and while the show was shooting he found out who the bachelor chose to ask to marry him. Then he posted it.

That ruins the whole game! There is a growing community of people who watch this show and make bets about who will make it to the final four, just like in college basketball. And if some dude has the scoop, how can I make any money predicting winners out there?

The one who won, Catherine Giudici, Sean Lowe, and the one who should have won, Lindsey Yenter

The next thing that is bothering me has to do with personal hygiene. I was in the gym the other day and there are signs posted around the gym asking people not to wear too much perfume or cologne.

Huh?

So instead we have to be subjected to nasty arm pit and ass stench all day long? On what planet am I living?

There is this completely bizarre growing movement, I guess by younger people, to go through the day more “natural” like those disgusting French people do. More people are growing fond of natural musky body odors that frankly make me want to puke most of the time.

There is a very good reason why perfume and cologne were invented in the first place – BECAUSE HUMANS STINK WORSE THAN COWS if left in their natural states.

We are now supposed to believe that soaps, deodorants are to be scent free and we shouldn’t use other scent enhancers these days. Otherwise we “smell like grandma and grandpa” or some otherwise insane comparison. 

The next thing that is bothering me is that the Christophobes are out in force this past week as a new pope has been elected.

This country, America, is roughly 85% Christian/Catholic and the Pope is the head of the church. But for some reason these days it is politically correct to bash this religion and its traditions.

I am agnostic, at worst, and don’t belong to any religion. I respect all religions, except one, and their traditions. For the record, I don’t respect Islam because of that little clause that suggests that non believers should be killed. Those who also believe that all Jews should be exterminated pretty much lack any credibility if they are citing any religious belief also.
But God forbid you mention anything like that out loud in this country, in which Islam is such a minority belief. Because if you do you are an Islamophobe, shunned from the mainstream and your clicky social groups, and you have to take the tour of all newspapers, radio and tv stations to repent your transgression.

So why in the world is it some how cool to bash the Catholic Church? I certainly understand that we all have freedom of speech but the church is covered under that same amendment and I never hear the church coming down and forcing people to retract what they have said about them. Muslims? They don’t react the same way. Draw one cartoon picture of their prophet and see what happens. In fact, there is probably a fatwa being drafted against me as you are reading this.

I’ll take the Catholic Church if I had to choose between the two. Besides that is the church that gave us Christmas, and that is the best time of the year for me. So for that reason alone its cool.  

With that said then, shouldn’t we now start to call those who make fun of, or bash, the Catholic Church, Christophobes? I think it’s appropriate. Its about time, in my opinion, that we turn the tables on this sort of stuff.

Pope Francis

For another example, I read the other day about a pickle company that sold real little pickles and called them Dill Midgets.
Somewhere in the last ten years or so the word Midget has become a derogatory name for dwarves, or little people, that is a kin to any other name someone with ill will in their hearts would call someone of another race.
One woman wrote a letter to suggest a different name for their product because she has a child with some sort of illness that makes him small and he will never be of “normal” size. ONE woman wrote the note and the company changed the name of the product.

I don’t get it. But if we are going to continue to be this effed up and sensitive about words then I may as well join the crowd.

I want the all of the following names of products changed…Animal CRACKERS…Graham CRACKERS…Goldfish CRACKERS…Nip Chee Cheddar CRACKERS, etc., etc., etc.

Now since I have done that and I am ONE person there should be immediate change.

Right? Sounds pretty freaking stupid doesn’t it? It’s all stupid. The entire concept of being “politically correct” is asinine. We should all be polite and respectful to all those who deserve it. 99% of the time we should continue to be polite even to those who don’t deserve it. 

This is offensive!

Another thing I can’t figure out is this thing about being allergic to peanuts or nuts in general. Some time in the last ten years or so this seems to have developed out of thin air.
I’m 51 years old and for roughly the first 40 years of my life I never heard of anyone being allergic to, or dying from, peanuts. Because when people my age were kids pretty much everyone ate peanut butter sandwiches. And I never, ever heard of some poor little kid croaking because he ate some Skippy.
Now, I’m not naïve, there are 6 billion people out there so it would stand to reason that its possible, but I have a theory that its psychological more than anything else. As someone who works with people to help them overcome subconscious defects as a hypnotist, I know full well that people can imagine themselves sick. A thought can get planted into someone’s mind that can manifest itself into all sorts of troubles and even physical ones. 

So if you are someone who can send me some actual proof of this I’d like to see it. I would also like to work with anyone who believes they have an allergy to nuts to try to fix the issue for them. Message me at dehypno@verizon.net.

Finally, for today, there is a pretty good chance that I will be traveling the country doing hypnosis seminars to help people quit smoking and lose weight. This will be for an outfit based out of Texas. I’m heading to Minnesota next week to check it out and if it looks like a good fit I’ll train with them there. This will be in addition to my regular show schedule so it could possibly be a dream situation for me.

This does NOT mean that the Dungeon of Manlove will stop though. You know, our adult-rated podcast which you can access here on this page. There are people on the cast who are going to take over more of the production and I can submit segments and reports from the road and certainly take the microphone when I am back home.

Dungearoke I inside CD case

After all, we have about 6 albums worth of dirty song parodies now with more to come. I have to stick around to help create it and promote it. Our first release is available at amazon.com. Its called Dungearoke I. Dungearoke II and III are at the publisher now and will get released some time soon. Take a listen to some of it if you like a good dirty song and to laugh a little. You can find some of them at www.marshcast.com.

That’s all folks. I’m done.